There Be Some Crazy Bitches Up In This Piece

As myspace and other message boards bring prior and former friends back into my life a few questions come up. One of the most pertinent questions being, am I as crazy as the people in my life?

Out of nowhere cyberspace is dredging up the past. Throw into a cauldron these few ingredients: former delinquents , 10 years of separation, years of resentment and confusion. Then throw in a pinch of internet-addled misinterpretation and there you have it, folks! Big fun and good times.

Granted, no one is forcing me to peek into my former boarding school's message boards. No one's pressing my hands to the keyboard as I punch in the myspace URL. There's just a little of that good old train wreck mentality happening here, and I can't help myself. Regardless of what's compelling me to come back for more, is the more interesting matter of what in the hell happened to these people I used to love, admire and even revere? Why, these people have gone completely off their rocker, I dare say. Or perhaps they've always been this way and I'm just now noticing.

What's especially troubling about the behavior I'm witnessing is that it's coming from two women in particular who I used to admire a great deal. I've been more intimate with these two women in my life than I have most lovers, relying on them for guidance and understanding when I was lacking it elsewhere. I don't question the validity of those times. What confuses me is how they went from being my steady counsel, my smart witty, wry girlfriends, to these frenetic out of touch miscreants.

What concerns me even more than that is, how does my evolution hold up against theirs? If our growth were tracked with line charts, and their trajectory is heading southeast, in which direction does my line move?

The problem here is that for all my craziness, and for all my shortcomings I think I'm basically of sound mind. I believe I make reasonable and informed decisions. I think I'm in touch with what goes on around me. I do my best not to embellish where it doesn't make sense to embellish, I use my best judgment in unstable situations, and I strive for balance in my life. This is not the same behavior I'm witnessing in these former friends, and I wonder what they think of themselves, and how they see their own actions. My guess is, they think they're doing just fine. Kinda like how I think I'm doing just fine...